new shores

I grew up land-locked. 

We came from the middle of Southern Africa to an island in the South Pacific half my life ago.

Now there is ocean all around me, miles of exquisite glistening shoreline have

replaced my bleached and beloved Savannah. 

And yet now we are leaving this adopted country that has become my home,

with its clean cold breath, its bright jewel colours and gentle life,

my children’s birthplace and home.

June 2010 082

Corporate assignment will see us heading off to Singapore, leaving next month.

Singapore is familiar to us, we spent 6 months there four years ago

and it is a place that has much to delight the senses.

June 2010 115

But there is a space immediately more intoxicating to the soul -

the rollercoaster seat that wrenches and rolls in the light of purpose.

It is on the rattling, flinging and speeding Giant of Change

as we are buckled in and the gears have turned in preparation.

It is the horrifying sense of loss of balance,

the ear-splitting machine of traction

as we hurtle on a new track towards an unknown experience.

It is leaving behind feet on fields that are safe, level and calm.

It is being transported by enormous processes beyond our control

to other vistas that are not our own.

It is an exhilaration that battles against a grief

and yet the huge machine won’t stop for me to get my bearings,

it keeps grinding and swinging us further up and away.

We have had grainy passport photos snapped and filled in stacks of immigration paperwork,

we have been subjected to literally hours of medicals,

vaccinations and tests.

And I see the house around me in new eyes,

take this, leave that,

there are boxes beginning to cluster in corners,

and yet, it is still unreal.

I wonder at moments if I am really on this rollercoaster

or if I will wake up and it all be a psychedelic dream.

June 2010 192

The sleepy part of me is reluctant to rush, it is savouring last experiences,

enjoying thinking slowly and finding peace and inspiration in little things.

But the other part,

the increasing part that registers I have a responsibility to connect, to engage, to think

is taking over, with squiggles growing all over my diary pages.

How to keep level, uncomplicated and sane is important to me,

not to fluster and fight,

but to give in to the immensity of the ride and although I will remember to hold on tight,

I also know the ride will eventually come to an end,

and I will disembark at the other side with shaky legs,

discombobulated for a moment,

slightly winded, ruffled and messy

but glad to be back on terra-firma

and ready to settle myself into a steady place again.


And I realise what a blessing this pocket of virtual space is,

and your friendship as we journey this next phase will bring perspective

to the new oceans I will look out upon.

June 2010 091

Here’s to New Shores.

Buckle up.

The old is not the Old,

nor is it the Forgotten.

Memory of the heart will grow and tucked in with my Africa,

will be my Aotearoa.

June 2010 066

Cassandra Frear  – (June 25, 2010 at 10:31 AM)  

I was thinking the same as I was reading your post -- how good that you have web friends who will still be with you, wherever and whenever you wander.

I'll be here, too. As always, I'll leave a light on at the Moonboat ... Here's the key... You know your way around ... Coffee's in the left drawer; tea's in the right ... Help yourself to a muffin.

Kelly Langner Sauer  – (June 25, 2010 at 10:36 AM)  

oh Amy. such sweet broken parting...

Dawn  – (June 25, 2010 at 10:52 AM)  

Amy even though I haven't met you face-to-face I will miss you but I'm so glad we can stay connected through the blogoshpere. I love the beauty of your pictures, the eloquent way you write, but more importantly I love getting to hear a bit of your heart and I am always encouraged after visiting you here. Blessings to all of you!! Dawn

Simoney  – (June 25, 2010 at 1:11 PM)  

PS your pictures are stunning. Stunning.

Simoney  – (June 25, 2010 at 1:11 PM)  

Next Month??!!!!
That's so SOON.
Oh thank Heavens for the Land of Blog, where can be part of your new journey. Even though we won't get to share coffee and hugs in RL, we can in our little corner of cyberspace.
So grateful that we can stay close this way.
And you never know. You could be back. And we will be here. There'll always be space for you here.

Sammy  – (June 25, 2010 at 1:29 PM)  

Can I say with sincerity.... POOS AND WEES!!!!! But I know that you are safe in His Hands and this is part of His will so I will accept it and be happy for you (and overcome my selfishness!) Will miss you xx

RockWallaby  – (June 25, 2010 at 5:58 PM)  

Amy, wishing you and your beautiful girls a wonderful time ahead.
I will eagerly await your descriptive reporting on your 'new life'. You will have to share Singapore with us through your writing and photography.
Look forward.

Erin  – (June 26, 2010 at 6:58 AM)  

I can still hardly believe this is happening in your life.
Wasn't it just yesterday you were settling into this new place you're now saying good-bye to?

But God knows. God knew. I trust the Conductor of this roller coaster we are on.

Kristi  – (June 26, 2010 at 4:58 PM)  

What a beautiful and touching post full of such beautiful images! Thank you so much for sharing a part of you. ♥

Charissa Steyn  – (June 26, 2010 at 11:35 PM)  

This is such an amazing description of change. Mmmmm I know it well. Left US, then to Europe, now in South Africa with my husband... learning that through it ALL God is the only Faithful unchanging one.

PC –   – (June 28, 2010 at 5:56 PM)  

sending you...

sighs of empathy
smiles of understanding
hugs of strength
deep breaths of calm

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