Hall to Light - 1000 Gifts


My bag is half packed. The cat keeps nosing in under the lid and trying to nestle into the tumble of contents that I have placed in there. In there I have cartons of long life milk and hand sanitizer, journal, suncream and nurofen. There are skirts for church meetings and shorts for play, the camera, the lens, the chargers, my art box. But more than that, more than the equipment and gear, I am carrying an expectation.

To go away on a mission focused trip, without my children is about re-writing the past. It is my line in the sand that says the history of trip related trauma does not dictate my future. The two words mission and abandonment have been welded together since my parents were abducted when I was eleven. Although my heart beat in time with a call for nations, my head told me in no uncertain terms that the cost to my children was too great. But I am walking out this journey, in the opposite spirit, one foot following the next, unsure of the details but fully assured that despite the outcome, grace will be sufficient for my needs.

It is not only a wife and a mother of three that is embarking on this trip to Tonga. It is an eleven year old girl, willing to walk back down hallways that used to be narrow and dark. It will be with upturned face that I will see the light. It is the passion I carry for broken women that spurs me on, footfalls through the valley to get me to a place where I am no longer afraid of what has bred my fear to date. It is the dream that gives momentum to my steps. And it is the gift of being able to dig deeper during a shadowy passage, to find that eternal hope, the one that outlasts the terror.


Here is what I am grateful for today:

110. For feet. Will we let them take us to places that need to hear about Real Love?

111. For shoes.

112. For a husband who releases without pressure, gently pushing me to take bigger risks.

113. For a passport, so many have no way to get one.

114. For a delightful diva who lent me her funky top so that I could make one to take with me.

115. For birthday parties.


116. For Sunday papers.

117. For brave daughters.

118. For a great book.

119. For heart song, bird song and watching my three girls sing with gusto to Hoe Down, Throw Down.

120. For laughter, last hugs and e-tickets.

Come away with me.

sarah  – (October 19, 2009 at 3:18 PM)  

I have two minutes before my own personal rush hour but I had to leave a note - beautiful post, beautiful imagery, as always here. And I hope your parents were safely returned to you.

Happy birthday to your darling eight year old! :-) I wish her many blessings and beautiful light.

Sammy  – (October 19, 2009 at 4:58 PM)  

Have a wonderful time Amy, I pray it's a time of new beginnings, new memories to replace the old dark ones and a time of revelation and refreshment for you as you serve. I can't wait to hear about the things God is going to do!!!

Gail  – (October 19, 2009 at 10:19 PM)  

Have an amazing time Amy! God is ahead of you all the way.

Looking forward to hearing about it all on your return!
xx

Cassandra Frear  – (October 20, 2009 at 8:58 AM)  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cassandra Frear  – (October 20, 2009 at 9:01 AM)  

As you go into that dark night, may Jesus be the light on your path. May you find that his voice is like a song in your heart. May his healing touch cover the barren landscape with grace and bring forth abundance.

I have left a comment on my blog in response to yours.

Bless you.

deb  – (October 20, 2009 at 3:00 PM)  

I don't know the situation, can't go into your story or suffering,
but I want to send you with hope and comfort and faith.
You are so brave and beautiful.

paige  – (October 21, 2009 at 7:27 AM)  

oh dear...i think my comment just got deleted...

anyway
what i said originally was that i had no idea that occured in your past. how devestating that must have been for your 11year old spirit.

i'm praying for you as you leave on this mission, praying peace & healing.

thank you for being an inspiration & encouragement to me!

my treasure arrived today & i am soooooooooo grateful. thank you thank you
the promise inscribed is something i need to remember daily, no--hourly!

god speed amy
xo

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