Another day slides past. After a night of 2/3 of my offspring away for the night, a 5am feed for the third left behind and getting the house tickled up for an open home, i was feeling a crumb of productivity and independence and was intending to go to church AND get there on time. But a call to say the girls were both sick bought me back abruptly and for some reason things closed in on me with a bang. I am ashamed to admit that i let it get to me way more than it should have. I experiemented on the success of vacuuming the carpet and crying at the same time. At mopping the floors and my tears simultaneously. The house was spotless and polished, baby fed and dressed, everything in its right, clean place except for me - I was in a stupor. I left the house and went to sit with my sick girls at my parent's house, church ambitions punched away by responsibility, privacy blown away by prospective buyers and on the verge of more convulsive tears. The good news is that I held it together, came home and the rest of the day passed without hiccup. I have administered panadol, tucked the pale, complaining small people up (in my room of course) and although tired, am unwilling to share the space with them while they are still concious so am going to lose my sense of reality in NCIS in a few minutes. But. Before I go, i read this tonight:
"Why shouldn't we experience heartbreak?
Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son.
Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain.
We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity.
And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed.
But God will not.
He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say Enter into fellowship with me, Arise and Shine.
If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?"
Oswald Chambers

Hmm. I am digesting this profound concept.

SJ  – (August 27, 2008 at 9:46 PM)  

Hey sweet mama.
the chambers quote is a goodie, hard to swallow but truthful and good theology. i like. thanks for sharing - i haven't been looking for a week or so - it's been great to catch up on life for you. love u always, sez

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