Ocean of Eyes

Yesterday in honour of the school holidays, we drove into Wellington to climb aboard the MV Doulos and check out what it's like to be on a big boat as well as the sheer delight of walking through the tables of ten thousand books. I have a book fetish and the hour spent walking around racks of them was deeply enjoyable. We got a stack of titles, including 3 Nancy Drews for K and a couple of activity books chosen by M, a poster of the periodic table of elements (which tickles me, my 9 year old is a chemistry fan - who knew?) and for the same child, the Jonas Brothers cd which she was rapt about, of course...9 going on 13.

Then we hit the park, pottered along the harbourfront, had lunch with Dad and then to M's delight, went indoor rockwall climbing. Both girls donned the harnesses and we stood as their belayes at the foot of the wall, trussed up with ropes. They had a ball! My camera's battery died which was cruel as this I think will a highlight for Mads for years to come. She managed to shimmy up to the top of the highest wall, pro-style, while Kenz was more deliberate but who also felt elated at her success. Mish had to just sit on the floor nearby, catching ropes and wagging them around her.
It was a fun day out, but hit a small snag on the shame front as we stopped for juice in the afternoon. We popped into Borders for a drink while Greg had an appt at the optometrist across from us. The previous night a documentary on Attachment Parenting had aired, and we watched about 10 minutes of it before switching channels in disgust (no offence those of you who adhere to this philosophy - it is just not for us) and before I knew it, I realised in the quiet, professional cafe that my baby needed a feed from me. Cringing, and fighting the feeling like they were all watching me thinking I was one of those hippies who fling their assets around for their children to chew on, I tried to surreptitiously latch her on without fanfare. Unfortunately I hit her head on my shoulder, so the screams of pain and shock began to bounce off the walls and alerted my fellow patrons to Something Interesting going on. I tried to sit as casually as possible in my seat and nonchalantly attempted to slurp at my juice straw. Sadly the juice slopped over my leg and onto Mishie, a fact I blithely ignored, steering my craft of doom unerringly forward towards the rapids of shame. My babe fell asleep and I got the stroller engineered to a position where I could just lay her down inside it without much drama. As I leaned forward, nestling her into the blanket and tucking her in, in full view of the line up to the cafe counter, even seeing out of the corner of my eye a suit approaching, half of my baby feeding factory became completely revealed in a non-delicate, non-excusable kind of way. The crazy thing was that I was unaware of how serious the situation was for a good few seconds and when I straightened up and realised how exposed I was, it was far too late. I dared not raise my head to the full room of mocha sipping, child-less humans, but imagined them as a sea of eyeballs on gently waving stalks staring unblinkingly at my reddened face as I shrugged myself rapidly into my coat, wound my scarf fiercely about my neck despite the heat in there, hissed to the girls to swig their juice quick, we were done. Deep breathing to stabilise myself in the waves of humiliation, I forced myself to look noble as I pushed the buggy out of the shop and in a final salute to my shame, the shop alarm screeched piercingly as we left. No doubt I had stamped upon the world my status as a disgraceful shoplifting mother who feeds her offspring in a way that displays no regard for the sensitivities of others. It was sheer relief to arrive back home.

Erin  – (July 13, 2008 at 9:52 AM)  

Oh I'm laughing so hard I wet my pants! Only because I have been behind your stroller myself a time or two.

I always console myself that no one in the bookstore knows me, that I probably gave them all a really great story to go home and tell their family (if they even remember it five minutes after the fact), and that my pride has just been put back in it's rightful place.

(Hey, you're moving soon anyway, what do you care what they think?!) (Did that help?)

Amy  – (July 15, 2008 at 10:03 PM)  

yes, thanks erin, that really helped immensely. i mean, just think - i have another whole city to inflict my nudity on, it would be a shame to waste it on just one town. no, honestly, i still get shivers of shock when i think about it! when WILL this child wean?????

Post a Comment

About This Blog

Copyright - Amy Lynas

  © Blogger template Shush by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP